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Opinions

Fast Path to Failure

As we all parade to our counselors to register for next year’s classes, many students have overlooked the newest course offering for 2018-2019: Plagiarism 101. Taught by the best of the best, this will be a class equipping students with the right tools to save time on their essays while presenting a professional outlook on their topics by writing exactly what a professional has previously written or said. While frowned upon by universities, scholarships, and teachers in general, this class will prepare students for the challenges they will face while introducing new skills into their writing assessments. The class will show students how to find a good source to plagiarise, how to eliminate the underlines from the hot links they accidentally copy and paste, and even how to spot plagiarism in the real world. Plagiarism 101 will take the school by storm showing everyone how handy and great plagiarism can be for a student in the technological era.

Colleges and universities are sure to appreciate all of the good work and insight that you have on issues that only professionals understand and could write. The class starts slowly by teaching how to copy a website without accidentally including the pop-up ads. After covering the basics, the class will move into advanced topics such as how to make up lies and flimsy justifications when you are caught, such as “If Melania could do it, why can’t I?” With proper concealment (which is Unit 3) no one will ever know that you borrowed work from Wikipedia, SparkNotes, or the essay you purchased from a “Yale Graduate Student.”

While it may help you sneak through with some credit now, many of the students who plagiarise are slowly ruining their futures; they will lack important skills in researching and writing, will have no experience with thinking for themselves, and will continue to fail when facing challenging reading. These things are all high stakes once you get to college and are paying tuition for classes you aren’t prepared to handle.While fear of punishment can motivate some students who don’t have the drive or motivation to write a whole essay, the majority of students will just go right back to what was saving them effort and time throughout their day. Seeing students who can’t do what’s expected of them is heartbreaking.

Students should take advantage of the many options that Maine has to offer. Instead of sitting around at home watching Netflix or playing video games, students should be preparing for essays or at the least making a rough outline. That show is 45 minutes long, this could only take a measly 20 minutes and you get a grade you know that you earned and the satisfaction of knowing you’re doing your part in your education.

fast-path-to-failure

MEET

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